Archive | July, 2009

>I’m Not Sure That’s in His Job Description…

27 Jul

>Tonight, Clark was putting his toothbrush back in the cupboard above the toilet and fell off and hurt his wrist. When I asked him what happened, he told me he thought the Holy Ghost pushed him off the toilet.

>Update of the Century

25 Jul

>Oh, my blog. My poor, neglected blog. It’s been a long time, baby. I’m honestly not sure what happened; it just kind of hasn’t dawned on me that I haven’t updated this thing in the last 6 weeks. I’m vowing now to make a change.

So what’s been going on in our lives? So many things. Since I last updated, here’s what’s been going on with Team Awesome:

–Meredith turned two. Yeah, I’m getting the Mom of the Year award for that one, not blogging about my baby’s second birthday!!

–Sam had a birthday and turned…well, let’s just not say. I spent about 2 days making several dozen hand-decorated sugar cookies to take to him at work. As I was heading out the door, the box collapsed on itself and they all fell in on each other and were ruined. Also, his birthday present never came in the mail. ALSO, his super-special birthday dinner did not happen in light of the cookie disaster. He had a really great day.

–We got 3 more cases (6 bottles/boxes each) of laundry detergent. Woot!!

–I have become very homesick for Logan, which is a little weird considering I haven’t lived there in 10 years.

–We have been fanatically watching So You Think You Can Dance. Love. That. Show.

–Clark let a stray kitten into our house one Sunday morning about a month ago. It is currently curled up next to me on the couch. However, I have mixed feelings about the cat because I am THE ONLY ONE in the whole house who is nice to it on a regular basis AND I’m the only one who feeds it and changes its litter. It really loved me for a couple of weeks, and then one night, it decided that the middle of the night was playtime and I shut it out. That’s right. I shut the bedroom door and made it go sleep by itself, probably on a stray sock in the dining room or something. And ever since then, it won’t give me the time of day. Sam hates the damn thing and it will just sashey over there and rub up against him and curl up in his lap. Me? It’ll sit NEAR me, but it won’t really let me hold it. All that said, cats are way less maintenance than just about any other animal I can think of and we’ve seen a lot less of those REALLY BAD THINGS (giant six-legged insects…I’m afraid if I say the actual word, one will scurry across the floor as I type) ever since it came to live with us, so I’m thinking this is a mutally beneficial relationship. We named it Charlie because it’s black with a little white mustache and we figured that “Charlie” was a little more appropriate than “Adolf.”

–I had a not-so-small Louisiana-related freak out last week and told Sam I will not stay here for another assignment. After a little time passed, we were able to examine the context of my freak out and hope to approach his future career plans a little more level headedly. Take it from me, Walmart at 4:00 on a Friday will make pretty much any sane person freak out no matter where you live. I’ve resolved to do more shopping at Kroger as a mental health precaution.

–Our area now has a splash park! I can’t tell you how excited I am. We went and played down there for a couple of hours today. It was so funny how literally on one side of the sidewalk, it was completely run-down and scary and on the other, there was this brand-new splash pad. I did yell (literally) at a 12-year-old-ish kid who called Clark and some other little kids “stupid little freaks.” I’ve become quite assertive in the 1 1/2 years that we’ve lived here and I won’t lie…I really like it.

–“The Spirit of God” definitely qualifies as an opening hymn. That’s all I’m sayin’. Anyone who says otherwise, well, you don’t scare me. Okay, maybe a little…

–Clark has many, many imaginary friends. For awhile there, they were all superheroes: Crocodile (only eats bad people), Flash (super fast), Ghost (who is responsible for anything bad or “unexplainable”), Goop (he can’t come to church because he’s too disgusting), Carby (he’s small enough that he needs to be held on a regular basis), and Optimus (he transforms into a carseat while we’re in the car). In the past few weeks, his Superhero Friends have morphed into imaginary Transformers. Optimus, of course, is the leader of the pack. Devastator should, according to Clark, be in charge because he’s bigger than Sam and I. He makes Clark things like macaroni and cheese when we’re eating something like Jambalaya for dinner. There’s Soundwave. Sideswipe. Starscream. Bumblebee. I don’t even remember them all, but they all have different voices and they all come with us everywhere we go. Sometimes he’ll hold his hands out like they’re all holding hands. He’ll talk to everyone about them if we let him, especially cashiers (or “payers,” as he calls them)–“Hey, I need to tell you something. I have Transformers. See? Here are all my bots. This is Devastator. Say hi, Devastator! [in Devastator’s voice] Hi!” Any prayer he says involves thanking Heavenly Father for his very long list of imaginary robots. Sometimes I wonder if he comes with a mute button. Now…I’m not a Family Guy fan at all, but I saw this commercial today and it is so spot on:

http://www.hulu.com/embed/nW7h2k6D01GxiKEdENvISg

That’s about it. I do vow, however, from this day forward to update my blog more and my Facebook status less. There you have it.