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>Him? Really?

18 Mar

>Last night, I had a very long, vivid , although (thankfully) not too graphic dream; it was definitely in the PG/PG-13 range of explicitness and believe me, especially now that I’ve been awake for a few hours, I’m glad I didn’t see any more than I did.

Anyway, what was my dream? I was having a long, torrid, involved love affair with…Ted Danson. Thankfully, while in my dream he was as old as Ted Danson currently is right now, he looked more like Ted Danson from Cheers:

than this Ted Danson:

In my dream, I do remember asking him if he found it weird that I was a baby when Cheers began and he paused for a moment and then we re-commenced our passionate making out. I also remember thinking that it was a lot like when Paris was dating Professor Fleming on Gilmore Girls and how disturbing I always found that storyline and wondering why it wasn’t bothering me as I made out with this 62-year-old man.


>I Always Miss the Good Stuff!

13 Nov

>So last night, I had a dream that Sam and I bought a townhouse and were having a barbeque with some friends: Shane and Adriann, some tall, lanky lad who I apparently had a crush on, and the Obama family. Which was particularly interesting because Shane is very into conservative politics.

So, like I often do before barbeques, I did a lot of the prep work before–I think we were having grilled chicken breasts and burgers. Because, you know, when the President-elect and his family come over for dinner, you make burgers. So all of our guests came over and then I went upstairs to take a nap. Because that’s what you do when you have a party–you go and take a nap.

When I woke up, the Obamas were gone and I was disappointed to have missed them. And THEN I saw that everyone was eating Ramen noodles with sliced green onions while my burgers and chicken were still in the fridge. Apparently, no one wanted to cook, so everyone ate Ramen instead. I was disappointed, but then I noticed that we had a gorgeous beach in our backyard, so I went and played in the water instead.

>Bonding with the Dentist

11 Oct

>I just had a dream that the new James Bond movie came out and it was quite the disappointment; for the bulk of the movie, Bond, James Bond, was trying to get out of going to the dentist.

>Thursday Randomness

10 Jul

>*I am the Enrichment Leader in our ward. Yeah, yeah, go ahead and laugh. Anyway, we’re having a giant activity next Tuesday and I basically have no Enrichment committee and the Enrichment counselor is going out of town, so I’m feeling a little frazzled. Last night, I had a dream that it was Monday night and I suddenly remembered that I’d signed up to bring 15 cheesecakes and I didn’t have enough time to make 15 cheesecakes, let alone time for 15 cheesecakes to set up. I literally woke up in a cold sweat. Is this really my life?

*We came home today from buying food for said Enrichment activity this afternoon and, like always, I heard something rustling around in the bushes. It was a dog, a small little dog, who took a liking to me. I’m starting to think that these bushes are a portal to otherworldliness, kind of like the wardrobe and Narnia. I was petting the dog when it suddenly started to downpour. Clark was screaming bloody murder, Meredith was laughing, and I was completely soaked. The dog followed me about halfway to our door and then went back and hid under my van.

*Due to me being soaked, I spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around in pajama pants and a t-shirt with no bra because the bra I was wearing got soaked and I literally have no other clean bras because I’ve spent the week upgrading the cooking blog and preparing for this crazy Enrichment activity.

*I realized I couldn’t make the dinner I was planning on making tonight because I used the last of my green onions last night. So I improvised, using about-to-go bad things in my fridge to make spaghetti sauce. Sam came home from work to find me lovingly cooking dinner for him. Okay, in all reality, I do love him, but this meal was not made lovingly, and instead of wearing my tea-length dress and half-apron and heels, I was wearing the aforementioned pajama pants, t-shirt, and no bra, with my soaking-wet hair pulled back into a ponytail. (Let it be known that I’ve never actually worn a tea-length dress and half-apron with heels all at the same time; that was a sarcastic comment, lest someone find this and mock me on I was super cute; I don’t know how he kept his hands off me.

*Immediately after he came home, Sam noticed our astronomical electric bill for the month. As he was raging about the ridiculousness of it all, I shouted, “There’s an armadillo in the backyard!” Non sequitur, you ask? No, really, there was an armadillo in the backyard! Snuffling around, probably eating up all the nasty bugs. Sam grabbed the camera, but you have to have a key to get out the backdoor, so he had to run and grab his keys and I watched the armadillo walk over to the deck. By the time he got back, the armadillo was gone. He searched the backyard, the garage, everywhere–no armadillo. So I’m thinking maybe the deck is also a portal to Narnia, only it’s the primary exit/entrance point of cockroaches and banana spiders.

*Just now, I asked Clark if he loved me. He paused for a minute and then said, “I don’t hate you.” Thanks, kid.

>Anya, Eat Your Heart Out…

22 May

>So last night, I had a dream that I had the most beautiful, long, straight, white-blonde hair ever. The only problem was that it was on my legs instead of my head.

>A Little Bit Homesick

26 Feb

>So last night, I had a dream that I attended my friend Natalie’s nursing school graduation, which is funny because she is a Spanish teacher. There was also a hotel and some kind of “lady of the night” involved (I think), but I don’t really remember that part. Anyway, I was missing Natalie all day and then, lo and behold, she called me this afternoon and we talked for a good half hour before her phone died. And I missed her even more.

I think this is the first time that I’ve really been homesick. I miss my little yellow house, I miss storytime at the Provo City Library, I miss having roots somewhere. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’m tired and haven’t left the house in a week, but I’m homesick.

On the up-side, Clark is feeling MUCH better. He’s not better better, but he ate two bowls of cereal first thing this morning and talked non-stop all day, which was quite an adjustment after him lying on the couch for the last three days, all glassy-eyed and quiet. So thank heaven for Tamiflu, Sprite, and prayers!

>The Apocalypse

1 Jan

>Heidi, don’t get excited!

I had a post-apocalyptic dream last night involving Lynne Spears and her two charming progeny. When I woke up, smallpox was the most pressing issue at the time. Have to say that smallpox wiping out THAT genetic line may not be a bad idea.

Disclaimer: Seeing as how I’m not a 12-year-old girl, I really don’t know much about Jamie Lynn Spears, so I can’t say that she shouldn’t reproduce. But if she and her boyfriend are the likes of Brit and K-Fed…well…