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>Today, the Day Before Thanksgiving

25 Nov

>Since tomorrow is a day of thanks, today has become a day rife with irritation. Here are the things/people that have bugged or are bothering me today:

–Children who want jack-o-lantern socks instead of “Happy Halloween!” socks.
–Cats who knock over every single glass of water that is poured in this house.
–Tutoring students who want to discuss the hotness of Derek Hough and her likelihood of marrying him rather than working on homework.

–The car battery dying in the Walmart parking lot

–The idiot guy helping me at Autozone. I was quite certain there for a few minutes that he was going to set my car engine on fire.

–Idiot Autozone guy’s boss for making Idiot Guy look like a bigger idiot.

–Girl smoking outside my car window while Idiot Guy replaces my battery and talking to me while I’m CLEARLY involved in a very serious game of Super Mario Brothers 3 (on the Gameboy that somehow made it into my purse).

–Everyone at Walmart. The employees blocking the aisles. Stupid people blocking the aisles. Pre-pubescents out of school, running up and down the aisles.

–Whoever laid out the new Sam’s Club food court. As it currently stands, you have to fill up your drink, but can’t get a lid for it until you pass the place where you pretty up your hot dog, but there’s barely enough space between the drink place/hot dog place/drink lid place abd the tables to park your cart. I’m not doing a very good job of explaining this, so here is an illustration:

–People who check out ALL of their Thanksgiving groceries at the self checkout.

–People who lurk in my blind spot while I’m backing out and then start walking when I start to back out and THEN glare at ME when I have to slam on my brakes to keep from hitting them.

–Coming home to find a cherry picker in my driveway while they cut someone else’s tree branches.

–Telemarketers. I had the following conversation with the same employee from the Louisiana Department of Health from my most recent post this afternoon:

Surveyor: May I talk to the oldest male of the household?
Kate: He’s at work right now.
Surveyor: When will he be home?
Kate: Next week. He’s out of town on business.
Surveyor: During the week of Thanksgiving?
Kate: We don’t believe in Thanksgiving.
Surveyor: But doesn’t he get the time off work?
Kate: They don’t believe in Thanksgiving, either.
Surveyor: [Awkward pause]. When would be a better time to reach him?
Kate: I don’t know, you’ll have to ask him.
Surveyor: But how can I ask him if I can’t reach him?
Kate: [Out of lies. Hangs up.]

The fact that the public school system has essentially failed American students in respect to proper use of the dash vs. the hyphen, they’re/there/their, and proper use of the apostrophe, which is linked to the failure of teaching students how to properly pluralize. Also, when people literally have a full keyboard at their fingertips, is it SO HARD to write “what” instead of “wut”????? [Punctuation snobbery over.]

Now that I’ve gotten ALL that off of my chest, I have to share that Meredith was convinced there was an “Indian Boy” standing outside her window when she woke up this morning. I don’t even know where she picked up the term “Indian Boy,” but she was convinced he was going to get her.

Also, Clark told us the cracks in the floor at Sam’s Club were “most important.”

Today, we got the car washed, which was necessary but highly emotionally traumatic for Meredith. Midway through the car wash, she started yelling out things that would make her happy: “Chicken nuggets! ‘I Am a Child of God!’ Target! Sleeping Doody! Fish balls! [sushi]”

ALSO. I had a dream that I was staying at an all-inclusive mountain resort where they were filming a segment on mountain climbing. I was supposed to participate in the mountain climbing, but I was scared so Alton Brown, who was hosting the show (naturally), strapped me onto his front side in a Baby Bjorn-like contraption and we climbed up the mountain together. The whole time, I was thinking that my friend Jen (who loves Alton) must be incredibly jealous. It was highly disturbing on my many levels.

All right, I think that’s it. Check in tomorrow and see if I’m feeling slightly more thankful then…


>Halloween and More!

10 Nov

>So I just had the following conversation with someone from the Louisiana Department of Health:

Interviewer: Do you currently live at the address that is served by this phone number?
Kate: Yes.
Interviewer: And are you male or female? [because I’m always being accused of having an androgynous-sounding voice]
Kate: Female.
Interviewer: And how many people over the age of 18 live at this address?
Kate: Two.
Interviewer: And how many of them are male?
Kate: One.
Interviewer: And how many of them are female?
Kate: Uh, one.
Okay, is it just me, or are there some math and/or deductive reasoning skills seriously missing here?

In other news, this month has been crazy. I’m not exactly sure where October went, but somehow, we just kind of went from September to November! After the hell that was Halloween, I decided to scale WAAAAAY back on the rest of the holidays, or at least as much as we can, because by the end, no one was having fun at all the “fun” stuff we were doing because I was NOT being nice! However, they looked pretty darn cute in their costumes:

Also, I recently bought a gallon of milk at Sam’s club that was expired by a week and a half. Then today, I came home with a loaf of bread from Walmart, thought it felt a little stale, started spreading peanut butter on it, noticed some mold, checked, the expiration date, and it expired on October 15. It is November 10! I mean, REALLY? I always say I’m going to quit Walmart, but I just can’t do it.
OH! And a few weeks ago, I was at Walmart and had this conversation with the lady in the fabric section:
Kate: I’d like 6 inches of this fabric.
Walmart Lady: [Not cutting, but looking at me accusingly] What do you need it for?
Kate: A Halloween costume.
Walmart Lady: [Still not cutting] What are you making?
Kate: Cat ears.
Walmart Lady: For who?
Kate: My daughter.
Walmart Lady: How old is she?
Kate: Two.
Walmart Lady: Is it just the ears, or is it for a tail, too?
Kate: Just the ears, although if I have time, I might make a tail, too. She’s going to be Hello Kitty.
Walmart Lady: Hellooooooo, Kitty! Me-OW!
So if that wasn’t weird enough, I was looking for a replacement needle for my sewing machine a few minutes later and heard her having this conversation with a boy who was about 12:
Boy: I need some string.
Walmart Lady: [Accusingly] Why?
Boy: I need it to tie something up?
Walmart Lady: What?
Boy: I dunno…just something..
Walmart Lady: [Still very accusingly, especially when discussing string with a pre-pubescent boy in a Catholic school uniform]: What are you going to tie up? A package? A hand? A CHICKEN??
I then had to leave so I could write down their conversation and post it on the blog before I forgot what they said…

>Sugar Cookies

13 Feb

>So, in a burst of domesticity, I decided to make sugar cookies for Clark’s Valentines at school. Oh, and I uploaded some of these printable Valentines (from what may be my new favorite blog; if you scroll up near the top of the main page, you’ll see that Our Best Bites sugar cookies were featured!) to Office Depot and had them printed on glossy cardstock. They were seriously about the cutest things I’ve ever seen. But I digress.

Anyway, my cookies turned out awesome if I do say so myself. A serious improvement from the first time I attempted using the glace icing back in December. While I was making the cookies, Meredith turned on the TV, found the music channels, and settled on the Americana station. I was too engrossed in cookie decorating to go change the channel, but I do have to say that I felt slightly suicidal by the time I DID change the channel–“Love Hurts” sung by Emmylou Harris and Gram Parsons is quite the buzzkill.

Anyway, I had to work on the cookies during the day while the kids were awake because they had to have enough time to dry and harden before I wrapped them up last night. While I was working on this:

and this:

Meredith was working on this:

(Please excuse the semi-out-of-focus pictures and my daughter’s Fraggle hair. I had sprinkle hands and, well, hair-doing generally doesn’t take a priority when we’re not leaving the house).

I am not kidding you. She pushed a stool up to the counter, got the sprinkles off the counter, UNSCREWED the lids, and dumped them all over the chair and the floor. In typical Clark-like fashion, he did not initiate any of the naughtiness, but he was more than happy to join Meredith in her mess-making.

Wanna hear the icing on the cookie? Last night, as we were getting ready for bed, I noticed that Clark has pinkeye (this is on top of his double ear infections and strep that we were at the doctor for on Wednesday). So he doesn’t even get to go to school for the Valentine’s party today. I’m so bugged that I worked so hard on his stupid Valentines that I’m dropping them off at the school, anyway, and am planning on picking up his Valentines after school. All in the name of Clark not being sad, but really, all that work is NOT going to waste!

>Happy Halloween!

3 Nov


So yeah, I’ve kind of decided that preschool is as much training for the parents as it is for kids. So far, I’ve forgotten a salty snack, something black to wear, and a triangle. Yeah, I know, I’m a bad mom. I did try and atone for it, however, by helping out at Clark’s Halloween carnival last Friday. Somehow I got stuck with being in charge of bowling, which turns out to be highly popular with preschoolers and involves a lot of squatting, resetting pins, and yelling, “Hey, don’t throw that!” about fifty million times. I’ve decided that I’m largely uninterested in other peoples’ children, and while I think the Pre-K teacher at the school is a little bit mean, I totally get it. I’d be mean, too, if I were surrounded by 4-year-olds five days a week.

Anyway, I was too preoccupied and slightly traumatized to get any good pictures of the Halloween carnival, although Clark had a good time. We brought his friend Matthew home and they played for a couple of hours (gotta love having another kid to keep your kid occupied!) Sam came home from work and we had spaghetti for dinner and then we met some friends at a cool park in a fancy schmancy neighborhood to go trick-or-treating. Apparently the rest of the central Louisiana metroplex had the same idea because it was nutso. Everyone sat on their porches and handed out candy and we had a good time. After we finished trick-or-treating, I ended up taking Sam home because he was beat and then we went to my friend Nicole’s house for a rockin’ Halloween party. It was so much fun and totally what I needed–I think (and I think a few people can confirm this!) that I’ve been a little jittery and neurotic lately, so getting out and laughing worked wonders for my semi-craziness.

Anyway, we had a very happy Halloween. Meredith was supposed to be Tinkerbell (or “Twinkerbell,”as Clark would say), but it was more of a little flower fairy princess. She loved every second of it. Clark was a very enthusiastic Buzz Lightyear, which was a semi-welcome change from years past–instead of screaming hysterically because he didn’t want to wear it, he screamed because he didn’t want to take it off.

>Easter Pics of the Kidlets

25 Mar


So me having significantly more pictures of Meredith than Clark here is in no way a measurement of my love for them; Meredith just wanted to sit there and look cute and Clark wanted to play with sticks. Typical.

“Can I hear an AMEN??”

>Happy Easter!

23 Mar


Happy Easter, everybody! I’ll post some Easter pics of the kids soon, but until then, here’s a message from the Easter Bunny:

>I TOLD You I’d Post Pictures!

4 Jan

>So I finally got the camera hooked up to the computer and got all of our recent pictures uploaded. Yeah, yeah, it’s a day late and maybe even a dollar short, but it’s better than nothing!

In chronological order, we have…

Sam’s graduation celebration at the Cheesecake Factory in Salt Lake. BYU doesn’t have graduation ceremonies in December, so he celebrated with the Factory Burrito instead.

Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa R.

And finally, the sweet new ride! Yes, I just called my minivan a sweet ride. Mostly because of that little DVD player in the upper-lefthand corner of the picture…Oh, yeah, and see how Clark’s stretching out his legs? And how they’re not kicking the back of the seat in front of him? That’s nice, too.

>Merry Christmas 2007!

20 Dec

>So I’ve been postponing sending out our Christmas cards and letter because we still don’t know for absolute certain where we’re going to be in another month and I kind of thought we would by now. Let’s just say that we’re tentatively planning on celebrating Christmas in February, so for those of you whose names we’ve drawn for Christmas presents, you’ll get something SUPER in another few months.

ANYWAY, I’ve been thinking about doing a best/worst list for a few months now. Until we’re settled wherever we’ll be, this is our makeshift Christmas letter! 🙂 Suffice it to say that in our lives, 2007 definitely made up for any boredom that we experienced in 2006! So here it is, the good and bad, the highs and lows!

Worst Movie

I’m too embarassed to say. Suffice it to say that it was one of those movies that looked really funny in the previews and ended up being disgustingly vulgar and made me feel bad about myself as a mother, a Mormon, AND a human being afterwards.

Best Movie

Maybe this is a cop-out because it technically came out in 2006, but I’m going to say Casino Royale. But, in all fairness, I didn’t actually SEE it until 2007. As far as the smart action thriller genre goes, it was a tight race between Casino Royale and The Bourne Ultimatum, but the jolty camera work in Bourne and Daniel Craig in a pair of swim trunks gives Bond the edge. No, being serious, they were both really, really good, but (and this is coming from someone who isn’t really a James Bond fan) I really liked seeing the origins of Bond and I liked seeing a buffer, tougher, had-my-nose-broken-a-few-times Bond. There’s a certain cultural “mythology” associated with James Bond and it was fun kind of exploring that.

If you’re going to get technical on me and say it had to be made and released in 2007, I’ll say Enchanted.

Worst Moment

Having to move and find new jobs 5 weeks after I had a c-section and 4 months before Sam graduated from college. That was awesome.

Best Moment

It was the last night I was in the hospital after Meredith was born and I had Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip on in the background. My recovery had gone so smoothly (with the exception of my bizarre, torturous rash) and I was feeling so good (and I’m sure the Percocet and Prednisone had nothing to do with THAT!). The room was about half-lit, the hospital was quiet, and I was waiting for my doctor to come see me for the day. Meredith was lying in her Boppy, so content (like she still is) and alert, just staring at me, and I felt like we knew each other.

Runner up? Sam graduating!

Worst New TV Show

Now…I didn’t watch all the new TV shows, so I’ll have to do the worst TV show of what I did watch. And the winner is…Journeyman! Now granted, I didn’t think it was ALL bad, but I haaaaaaated his wife with a passion and stopped watching solely because of her. And now it’s been cancelled.

Best New TV Show

Either Pushing Daisies or Chuck (which, coincidentally, I started watching because we accidentally recorded it instead of Journeyman.) They’re funny, smart, endearing, and sweet.

Biggest Question Mark

Where we’ll be living a month from now! Louisiana? Salt Lake? Washington? You tell me! No, really, tell me! I’m going crazy here!

Worst Book

Okay…this may get me murdered in my sleep. By a vampire. But I hated the Twilight series. I actually liked Twilight okay–I mean, it was definitely young adult fiction and it was pretty amateurish, but it captured my attention. New Moon was tedious, but there were moments in Eclipse where I literally felt my throat close up and also felt pity for the author and the cheesiness of it all. Apparently, no one in Forks does anything but murmur, mumble, grimace, groan, or grin. Toothily. Oh, and Bella. Bella, Bella, Bella. Quite possibly THE most annoying heroine ever. My disclaimer is that I don’t read romance, let alone teen romance, so this definitely wasn’t my genre and I should’ve known that going in. But, alas, I got sucked in (muahaha…oh, Kate, you’re so funny).

Best Book

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Granted, it’s been a rough year for me reading-wise–I’ve been too tired or too stressed (or both) to do a lot of heavy-duty reading, but this really, truly was a masterpiece. Nearly every loose thread, seemingly-insignificant detail was tied back in. I know some people thought the symbolism was heavy-handed, but it didn’t bother me (but then, I don’t have a problem with religious symbolism). I may have been 5 weeks postpartum when I read it, but I’m pretty sure that I’d bawl like a baby all over again when Harry turned the stone over in the forest and walked with those who had gone before him to his fate.

TV Show That’s Gone Most Downhill (For Me):

Law and Order: SVU. More like Law and Order: Olivia’s Story. I miss Munch and Finn.

Best TV Show We Watch on a Regular Basis:

Lost. Hands-down. I love The Office, but nothing compared to the second half of Lost Season 3. I mean, seriously. Every. Dang. Week. I about peed my pants (with, of course, the exception of Jack’s trysts in Thailand; I absolutely hated that episode.) Warning! Spoilers ahead! From Locke blowing up the communications hatch to Sawyer finding the real Mr. Sawyer (in that fateful twist with Locke…and gotta say that Sawyer Sr. got what was coming to him!) to Ben’s unbelievably creepy flashback to finding the underwater hatch to that amazing season finale (for which Matthew Fox’s lack of any kind of awards recognition is an absolute abomination!) It consistently hit its stride every week, building up to that finale. Of course, all that momentum was lost due to starting the season in late January rather in September AND with this stupid WGA strike. If we only get 8 episodes this year, well, I’m not going to be so happy.

So now that 2007 is almost out of the way, we have all sorts of new adventures in front of us: buying a house, buying a car, maybe buying a refrigerator (apparently houses in Louisiana don’t come with appliances), probably moving halfway across the country. All in all, we’ve been very blessed–we’re all happy and healthy, Sam is officially DONE with school, no more apartment managing, and we have all that we need and a lot of what we want. Or we will soon. 🙂 We have amazing family and friends who support us and love us (and we love you, too!) We have the Gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives and the knowledge and peace that comes with it. We hope ALL of you have a Merry Christmas and a New Year full of things that make you as happy as Lost, Harry Potter, and babies make me.


Team Awesome

>Happy Halloween!

1 Nov

>Okay, so I know I’ve been a blogging slacker this week, but it’s been BUSY! Sometimes I feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day.

Anyway, here are some pics of the kiddos last night. Clark had a great time and took to calling me buddy: “Where are you going there, Buddy?” It made me giggle everytime.

>Carving Pumpkins

29 Oct

>So we carved pumpkins tonight for the first time since Sam and I have been married! Yes, we’re a couple of Grinches. But honestly, holidays are just more fun when kids are old enough to enjoy them!