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>Until We’re 100% Settled…

8 Mar

>We’re just about settled. I haven’t taken any pictures yet–maybe tomorrow, right? Until then, here are a few kidisms to tide you over.

Meredith was giving a very stern lecture to someone on her pretend phone the other day. I couldn’t make out 90% of what she was saying, but there was some yelling and a lot of “I TOLD you!” going on. I asked her who she was talking to and she said, “Grandma.” Grandma, I don’t know what you’ve done to deserve this, but I’m glad it’s not me!

Clark: Mom, how does Cheer get your clothes brighter in just one wash?

Kate: Clark, you’d better get ready to go!! We’re going somewhere really exciting! [We weren’t. It was more along the lines of the storage unit.]

Clark: Oooh, oooh!! Is it Chik-Fil-A? [Yeah, we haven’t been to Chik-Fil-A since I was about 3 1/2 months pregnant with Meredith and he was still riding in a stroller. Natalie Pyles, I think you were there.

We just got done having a good giggle and he sighed and said, “Good times, good times.”

I went to register him for Kindergarten today, but I forgot his shot record. I think I’m subconsciously trying to keep him from growing up any more than he already has.


>Weekend Update

29 Jan

>So…we’re under contract on a house!!! This is it:

It is actually the very first house we ever looked at while we were house hunting. We were seriously considering it before, but passed on it because one of the bathrooms needs a lot of work. After we made the offer on the other house, we realized that the bathroom in this house would probably not be as much work as the 2 bathrooms in the other house would be, and that really, it had about 90% of what we’re looking for, so we made an offer on Monday, negotiated back and forth for a few days, and the seller accepted our counter-offer yesterday morning. I feel SO good about it–I just feel like this is the place for us. Assuming everything the with the inspection and loan go like they’re supposed to, we’ll close on February 22nd. YAY!!!

So…this leads into my embarassing moment of the month. My sister’s last name is Morgan and one of my Young Women is also named Morgan. Well, after we heard from our realtor yesterday, I went to call my sister to tell her the good news. This particular sister lives in Alabama. So anyway, the person on the other end answered the phone and said in a sweet little Southern Belle accent, “Well, good MORNIN’!” I, thinking this person was my sister, said in my fake Southern Belle accent, “Well, good mornin’ to YOU!” We then proceeded to have a sweet Southern Belle conversation. At which point I realized it was not my sister, but Morgan’s mother. I wanted. To. Die.

As for the kids? They’re good. Meredith says everything is “way ______.” Like when it gets dark at night, it’s “way nighttime.” Or her food is “way hot.” She’s obsessed with princesses, dresses, shoes, make-up (“lip sauce” is her favorite), being beautiful, beautiful things, the word beautiful. She’s such a girl.

Clark loves Transformers and Ben 10–he does some VERY serious transformations, complete with sound effects. The other day, I told him that I was sad he doesn’t like to play with his Thomas trains anymore and he said, “Well, Mom, some things are changin’.” So funny and yet it breaks my heart just a little bit. He’s gotten too big too fast!

>Halloween and More!

10 Nov

>So I just had the following conversation with someone from the Louisiana Department of Health:

Interviewer: Do you currently live at the address that is served by this phone number?
Kate: Yes.
Interviewer: And are you male or female? [because I’m always being accused of having an androgynous-sounding voice]
Kate: Female.
Interviewer: And how many people over the age of 18 live at this address?
Kate: Two.
Interviewer: And how many of them are male?
Kate: One.
Interviewer: And how many of them are female?
Kate: Uh, one.
Okay, is it just me, or are there some math and/or deductive reasoning skills seriously missing here?

In other news, this month has been crazy. I’m not exactly sure where October went, but somehow, we just kind of went from September to November! After the hell that was Halloween, I decided to scale WAAAAAY back on the rest of the holidays, or at least as much as we can, because by the end, no one was having fun at all the “fun” stuff we were doing because I was NOT being nice! However, they looked pretty darn cute in their costumes:

Also, I recently bought a gallon of milk at Sam’s club that was expired by a week and a half. Then today, I came home with a loaf of bread from Walmart, thought it felt a little stale, started spreading peanut butter on it, noticed some mold, checked, the expiration date, and it expired on October 15. It is November 10! I mean, REALLY? I always say I’m going to quit Walmart, but I just can’t do it.
OH! And a few weeks ago, I was at Walmart and had this conversation with the lady in the fabric section:
Kate: I’d like 6 inches of this fabric.
Walmart Lady: [Not cutting, but looking at me accusingly] What do you need it for?
Kate: A Halloween costume.
Walmart Lady: [Still not cutting] What are you making?
Kate: Cat ears.
Walmart Lady: For who?
Kate: My daughter.
Walmart Lady: How old is she?
Kate: Two.
Walmart Lady: Is it just the ears, or is it for a tail, too?
Kate: Just the ears, although if I have time, I might make a tail, too. She’s going to be Hello Kitty.
Walmart Lady: Hellooooooo, Kitty! Me-OW!
So if that wasn’t weird enough, I was looking for a replacement needle for my sewing machine a few minutes later and heard her having this conversation with a boy who was about 12:
Boy: I need some string.
Walmart Lady: [Accusingly] Why?
Boy: I need it to tie something up?
Walmart Lady: What?
Boy: I dunno…just something..
Walmart Lady: [Still very accusingly, especially when discussing string with a pre-pubescent boy in a Catholic school uniform]: What are you going to tie up? A package? A hand? A CHICKEN??
I then had to leave so I could write down their conversation and post it on the blog before I forgot what they said…

>Funny Kids!

10 Jun

>Okay, so I have some pictures from Seattle, but if we’re not Facebook friends, then you can’t see them yet because the computer I uploaded them to has officially freaked out and I deleted them from my camera.

Fortunately, I have some good Clark stories to tide y’all over! Unfortunately (or fortunately), most of them have to do with him coming to some sort of understanding with his body…

While in Seattle

Clark: Grammy, where are you going?
Clark’s Grandma: I’m going to get my hair fixed.
Clark: Yeah, you kind of look like an orphan…

Clark: I wish my peepee could talk…

Also, the whole first day his Aunt Lacey was in Seattle, he called her “Girlfriend.” Not like, “Hey, girlFRIEND!”, but more like it was her name.

Since We Came Home:

Clark: Ahhh! What are these things underneath my peepee??

Clark: I’m Bad Clarkie. Good Clarkie went to Utah. He’s dead.

So every day, I make him take a “movie rest,” a) because he needs to rest still and b) so we can have a break from each other. And by that, I mean I need a break from his never-ending stream of questions. To be nice, I also let him bring some toys with him, which he calls his class. Well, one day, he told me that he wanted to have a girl class–he was going to play with Meredith’s Snow White and Giselle Barbies, her Little People princesses, and a few My Little Ponies. Because he had a girl class, he told me he also needed a girl movie. Sam was thrilled when I told him that Clark was playing with Barbies and watching The Little Mermaid. Clark informed me that this incarnation of himself is called “Cute Guy.”

Tonight, Sam and Clark went to get some birthday stuff for Meredith. While they were in Walmart, they had the following conversation:

Clark: My little boobie hurts.
Sam: Your what?
Clark: My little boobie.
Sam: Clark, we don’t call them boobies, we call them breasts, and we don’t talk about them in public. And you don’t have boobies.
Clark: That’s what Meredith said. [Meredith does not string enough words together to tell him that he has boobies.]
Sam: Well, girls do have breasts, but boys don’t.
Clark: Well, then what are these little poky things?
Sam: Those are nipples.
Clark [Loudly]: Dad, my nipple hurts.

And now that Meredith is coming into her own funniness, I have to share that I found her little purse with her tiny Sleeping Beauty doll, complete with a change of clothes AND another pair of shoes, some cold sore ointment, a tube of toothpaste, and a heavy flow tampon. The girl is prepared!

>The Laundry

15 May

>So a few days ago, Meredith and Clark were getting ready to hop in the tub. I’d stripped Meredith down to her diaper and we were just waiting for Clark to finish his dinner. Well, Meredith disappeared for a few minutes and when she came back, her diaper was gone.

At some point yesterday, I realized I didn’t know where that diaper was.

Well, just now, I got some clothes out of the hamper to wash and lo and behold, there was the wet diaper at the bottom of the hamper! And no, we don’t cloth diaper.

>Picture Overload!

17 Mar


I’m realizing that I don’t post nearly enough pictures here, especially of the kids. Okay, ONLY of the kids because there’s not a whole lot else to take pictures of here!! So for all of you who live so far away, here you go! 🙂

Meredith got into the flour last night…

This morning, she was just cute…

Here’s my little hammy Leprechaun…

Strategically placed purse…Meredith loves these little guys, some of which stand up better than others. She’ll line them up and if they stand up, she keeps them, but if they don’t stand up, she’ll drop them over the edge. Survival of the fittest, I guess!
In other news, life here is about as boring as it gets. I have a cold, which makes this like the fourth time I’ve been sick in the last year. Up until last year, I hadn’t been sick since I got my tonsils out in 2003. Boo. We’ve been looking at plane tickets to Seattle in May and are toying with the idea of coming to Utah as well…we shall see…any trips have to take place before June 12 because after that, we have to buy Meredith a ticket.

Not much else! Really. The weather’s nice, the bugs are (relatively, for Louisiana) dead. I anticipate another trip to the DMV shortly, so you can probably expect a juicy story in another couple of days!

>One of THOSE Moms

7 Mar

>Yes, it’s officially happened. You know how before you have kids, you see things people are doing with their kids and you tsk-tsked and thought, “I will never do that.”

Yeah, I ate my words yesterday.

I’ve determined that the DMV is the great equalizer; everyone has to go, so you always seem to have a very interesting mix of people there. I would dare say that being in Louisiana makes that mix even more interesting.

Recently, we had a massive pollen dump over our lovely area–like literally, our cars are yellow. My kids, especially Meredith, have not tolerated it well and there is a never-ending flow of nasal secretions at our house. So one would think, “SURELY Kate would have enough foresight to carry a box of tissues with her at all times.” Those of you who think that greatly misunderstand my ability to plan ahead for emergency trips to the DMV.

Anyway, yesterday morning was a gorgeous (albeit pollen-y) day. Sam was going to go to his morning meeting and then head to the DMV to register our Nissan in Louisiana, I was going to take a leisurely trip to Target after I dropped off Clark from school. As I was pulling into the Target parking lot, Sam called and told me he couln’t register the car until he had a Louisiana driver’s license and he couldn’t do that without his birth certificate. So his first round of waiting was all for naught and he was heading home for his certificate. I found new Sunday shoes for Meredith and the cutest little white sundress in the world (for her…not me…) for $11.99 and am heading home when Sam called again, telling me that because I’m the title holder on the Nissan, I have to be there, too. However, I also needed my birth certificate so I could get a Louisiana license so I could register the Nissan. This presented something of a problem because we determined last Friday, when Clark had to go get his 4-year immunizations, we couldn’t find the immunization records or birth certificates of myself and the children. We knew they were together, we just didn’t know where.

So Sam and I spent a LOVELY 45 minutes together ripping apart the office, trying to figure out where the birth certificates could be. It was a little tense and most likely my fault. Then he remembered that he had a box of stuff on his computer and it might be in there. DING DING DING! There they were. Out the door and back to the DMV, only to arrive JUST in time to leave again and pick up Clark from preschool. Sam took Meredith and I waited. While I waited, I listened to the following conversation:

Man 1: I hate the DMV.

Man 2: Yeah, me, too. I just got out of prison, so I have to renew all this stuff before it expires.

Man 1: Oh, yeah? I got out in 2005.

Man 2: Yeah, I just got out last month. What were you in for?

Man 1: Assault and battery. You?

Man 2: Attempted murder.

They then shared some very nice prison stories. I hope I never go there.

Sam returned with Clark and Meredith. Clark was not pleased and asked every 5 seconds if we could go home. Literally. “Can we go home? Can we go home? Can we go home?” Meredith, who was wearing one too-small black patent leather Sunday shoe (which I had brought as a size comparison on our shoe-shopping trip) and one white sandal that was a little too big, wanted to go through the door where they actually help you at the DMV. She was not pleased that this was not an option. We decided in order to placate the children, we would buy a bottle of Sprite from the pop machine and have them share it. Things I’d never do? 1) Let my kids wear 2 different shoes. 2) Let my kids drink soda. 3) Let my kids share drinks.

Meredith’s nose was now leaking an unbelievable amount of snot. I realized I had no tissues and that this was becoming a rather disgusting situation with the pop-sharing, so what did I do? I wiped her nose on her dress. I can’t even believe I just wrote that. Other things I would never do? 4) Let my kids have runny noses. 5) Let snot be wiped onto clothing.

Our number was finally called, I got my new license. The picture is just lovely; my eyes are half-closed, which gives my picture a nice Earl Hickey effect. Turns out we didn’t actually have the title, my dad, who originally bought the car, is currently in Alabama visiting my sister but not visiting me (and I doubt he has it or knows where it is, anyway), and so we still were not able to register the frakking car. We have to request a copy of the title from the State of Utah, and all we have to do is fill out a little form, but the little form is quite confusing and, naturally, the phone menu at the Utah DMV is completely automated with NO option of asking an actual human being a question. So we sent off the duplicate title request with a check for $6 and are hoping they can figure it out. Because there also wasn’t a place for your phone number where they could call you if, say, you filled out the form wrong.

As I was telling this tale to a member of our Bishopbric last night (who is also not from here), I was laughing that everyone else in the DMV must’ve been horrified by my mothering skills and he said, “Oh, no, I’m betting that you just fit right in!” Which is probably right…

>Sugar Cookies

13 Feb

>So, in a burst of domesticity, I decided to make sugar cookies for Clark’s Valentines at school. Oh, and I uploaded some of these printable Valentines (from what may be my new favorite blog; if you scroll up near the top of the main page, you’ll see that Our Best Bites sugar cookies were featured!) to Office Depot and had them printed on glossy cardstock. They were seriously about the cutest things I’ve ever seen. But I digress.

Anyway, my cookies turned out awesome if I do say so myself. A serious improvement from the first time I attempted using the glace icing back in December. While I was making the cookies, Meredith turned on the TV, found the music channels, and settled on the Americana station. I was too engrossed in cookie decorating to go change the channel, but I do have to say that I felt slightly suicidal by the time I DID change the channel–“Love Hurts” sung by Emmylou Harris and Gram Parsons is quite the buzzkill.

Anyway, I had to work on the cookies during the day while the kids were awake because they had to have enough time to dry and harden before I wrapped them up last night. While I was working on this:

and this:

Meredith was working on this:

(Please excuse the semi-out-of-focus pictures and my daughter’s Fraggle hair. I had sprinkle hands and, well, hair-doing generally doesn’t take a priority when we’re not leaving the house).

I am not kidding you. She pushed a stool up to the counter, got the sprinkles off the counter, UNSCREWED the lids, and dumped them all over the chair and the floor. In typical Clark-like fashion, he did not initiate any of the naughtiness, but he was more than happy to join Meredith in her mess-making.

Wanna hear the icing on the cookie? Last night, as we were getting ready for bed, I noticed that Clark has pinkeye (this is on top of his double ear infections and strep that we were at the doctor for on Wednesday). So he doesn’t even get to go to school for the Valentine’s party today. I’m so bugged that I worked so hard on his stupid Valentines that I’m dropping them off at the school, anyway, and am planning on picking up his Valentines after school. All in the name of Clark not being sad, but really, all that work is NOT going to waste!

>How Did This Happen?

12 Jan


Yeah, um, when did I become the mother to a 4-year-old? What the heck? They’re supposed to stay babies! 4 has been a hard birthday for me–1 was hard, 2 and 3 didn’t bother me, but 4 has been hard. On the upside, it appears that he has decided that he is indeed human once again; it’s sure nice to have my sweet boy back after, like, a year-and-a-half.

Anyway, he had a very nice birthday. We woke up and had pancakes (which is like NEVER at our house on a weekday!) and then I took him to school. I came during snack time and brought cookies, so it was fun to see him in his little element. After I picked him up, we picked up his birthday balloons and then we came home and got ready for his party. We just had a few friends–the Walkers, Reimers, Glisans, and Gouldings came over and I was reminded how small our house is. However, it was very fun to have everyone over and Clark later informed me that he had a perfect birthday. Thanks, everyone, for calling and coming by! He definitely felt like king of the day!

>Happy Halloween!

3 Nov


So yeah, I’ve kind of decided that preschool is as much training for the parents as it is for kids. So far, I’ve forgotten a salty snack, something black to wear, and a triangle. Yeah, I know, I’m a bad mom. I did try and atone for it, however, by helping out at Clark’s Halloween carnival last Friday. Somehow I got stuck with being in charge of bowling, which turns out to be highly popular with preschoolers and involves a lot of squatting, resetting pins, and yelling, “Hey, don’t throw that!” about fifty million times. I’ve decided that I’m largely uninterested in other peoples’ children, and while I think the Pre-K teacher at the school is a little bit mean, I totally get it. I’d be mean, too, if I were surrounded by 4-year-olds five days a week.

Anyway, I was too preoccupied and slightly traumatized to get any good pictures of the Halloween carnival, although Clark had a good time. We brought his friend Matthew home and they played for a couple of hours (gotta love having another kid to keep your kid occupied!) Sam came home from work and we had spaghetti for dinner and then we met some friends at a cool park in a fancy schmancy neighborhood to go trick-or-treating. Apparently the rest of the central Louisiana metroplex had the same idea because it was nutso. Everyone sat on their porches and handed out candy and we had a good time. After we finished trick-or-treating, I ended up taking Sam home because he was beat and then we went to my friend Nicole’s house for a rockin’ Halloween party. It was so much fun and totally what I needed–I think (and I think a few people can confirm this!) that I’ve been a little jittery and neurotic lately, so getting out and laughing worked wonders for my semi-craziness.

Anyway, we had a very happy Halloween. Meredith was supposed to be Tinkerbell (or “Twinkerbell,”as Clark would say), but it was more of a little flower fairy princess. She loved every second of it. Clark was a very enthusiastic Buzz Lightyear, which was a semi-welcome change from years past–instead of screaming hysterically because he didn’t want to wear it, he screamed because he didn’t want to take it off.