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Re-Booting…

17 Jul

Soooooo…yeah. If you take a look at the post just below this one, it says March 8. Without a year. That would be March 8 of last year. I think I kind of burned out on the personal blogging thing and then life got crazy and then I felt massive amounts of guilt for neglecting my poor little family blog and then life got crazier. And then…I started hearing the “inner blogging voice” again! During this whole time, I stayed active posting on Facebook, but I realized there were things that weren’t conducive to the Facebook format. I also realized that while Facebook has a record of all my memories during my blogging breakdown, I don’t know if they can be salvaged and that’s kind of been my journal for the last year and a half. So much has gone down in the last little while and I need to have a better record of it.

There’s no way I can possibly go back and blog about everything, so I’m just starting over. Hi. I’m Kate. But you probably know that. Since March of 2010, this is what’s gone on in our lives:

Clark lost a whole bunch of teeth, our crazy cat Charlie ran away, we got a new cat named Willow, Meredith turned 3, Sam’s mom and brother came to visit, we had a really, really, really hot and hellish barbecue with our friends and family for Sam and Meredith’s birthdays, I cleaned the church all by myself because I love my husband that much (and because I wanted a family shopping day in Lafayette), the kids and I went to New York City for two days and made banana splits with Kelly Ripa and stayed in a posh hotel and ate room service at the expense of Electrolux, I called Aaron Mangum at the butt crack of dawn on the day I left for New York City because I had the most unbelievable toothache, seriously on par with back labor with a side dish of Pitocin, and discovered I had an abscessed tooth, I got another abscessed tooth 2 weeks later in New Orleans (ironically enough while I was with the Mangums for Youth Conference), I got two root canals for my abscessed teeth, our hot water heater leaked onto our oven and we had to replace the water heater and the electrical panel of our oven and we still have a water stain on our kitchen ceiling (all of this happened last June and July, by the way–it was awesome).  I was released from the Young Women’s Presidency at church and Clark started Kindergarten, Meredith started preschool, Clark started playing soccer (I’m using the term “playing” loosely here), something possessed me to get a haircut at Fantastic Sams where a surly hairdresser (again, using the term “hairdresser” loosely here) gave me the Layers from Hell. Sara and I went to Des Moines to see the Better Homes and Gardens Test Kitchens and we won their blogger cook-off. We turned in our manuscript for our book, Meredith got strep throat on Thanksgiving day, I got called to be the Primary President in our ward, we had Christmas here in Louisiana, I quit tutoring, Clark turned 6, I flew to Utah with Sara (well, not with her–I met up with her there) and stayed with my faraway BFF Adriann while we shot a cover for LDS Living magazine. Three weeks later, I was back in Utah to celebrate the launch of our book, then I was back again in another two weeks for more book signings. Because we’re insane, we got a little doggy named Mala. She looks like a Wookiee. Sam spent a week in the hospital with a very diseased gallbladder–a good time was had by all! Clark ended his first year of school as one of two kids in his class who never got a behavior mark (he was sure to inform his teacher that he was plenty naughty at home). Sara and I went to Scottsdale at the end of May for a Thermador event, then the day after we got home from that, Sam, the kids, and I drove to Houston and then flew to Seattle for 9 days. After a book signing in Houston, we came back to Louisiana and then I flew to Idaho to speak with Sara at the BYU-Idaho Business Summit. We haven’t gone anywhere since and I’m okay with that.

So yeah, that’s our year-and-a-half in a nutshell! But I’m back, baby. And on WordPress, so change your feeds and bookmarks (that is if anyone is still reading…)

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>Today, the Day Before Thanksgiving

25 Nov

>Since tomorrow is a day of thanks, today has become a day rife with irritation. Here are the things/people that have bugged or are bothering me today:

–Children who want jack-o-lantern socks instead of “Happy Halloween!” socks.
–Cats who knock over every single glass of water that is poured in this house.
–Tutoring students who want to discuss the hotness of Derek Hough and her likelihood of marrying him rather than working on homework.

–The car battery dying in the Walmart parking lot

–The idiot guy helping me at Autozone. I was quite certain there for a few minutes that he was going to set my car engine on fire.

–Idiot Autozone guy’s boss for making Idiot Guy look like a bigger idiot.

–Girl smoking outside my car window while Idiot Guy replaces my battery and talking to me while I’m CLEARLY involved in a very serious game of Super Mario Brothers 3 (on the Gameboy that somehow made it into my purse).

–Everyone at Walmart. The employees blocking the aisles. Stupid people blocking the aisles. Pre-pubescents out of school, running up and down the aisles.

–Whoever laid out the new Sam’s Club food court. As it currently stands, you have to fill up your drink, but can’t get a lid for it until you pass the place where you pretty up your hot dog, but there’s barely enough space between the drink place/hot dog place/drink lid place abd the tables to park your cart. I’m not doing a very good job of explaining this, so here is an illustration:

–People who check out ALL of their Thanksgiving groceries at the self checkout.

–People who lurk in my blind spot while I’m backing out and then start walking when I start to back out and THEN glare at ME when I have to slam on my brakes to keep from hitting them.

–Coming home to find a cherry picker in my driveway while they cut someone else’s tree branches.

–Telemarketers. I had the following conversation with the same employee from the Louisiana Department of Health from my most recent post this afternoon:

Surveyor: May I talk to the oldest male of the household?
Kate: He’s at work right now.
Surveyor: When will he be home?
Kate: Next week. He’s out of town on business.
Surveyor: During the week of Thanksgiving?
Kate: We don’t believe in Thanksgiving.
Surveyor: But doesn’t he get the time off work?
Kate: They don’t believe in Thanksgiving, either.
Surveyor: [Awkward pause]. When would be a better time to reach him?
Kate: I don’t know, you’ll have to ask him.
Surveyor: But how can I ask him if I can’t reach him?
Kate: [Out of lies. Hangs up.]

The fact that the public school system has essentially failed American students in respect to proper use of the dash vs. the hyphen, they’re/there/their, and proper use of the apostrophe, which is linked to the failure of teaching students how to properly pluralize. Also, when people literally have a full keyboard at their fingertips, is it SO HARD to write “what” instead of “wut”????? [Punctuation snobbery over.]

Now that I’ve gotten ALL that off of my chest, I have to share that Meredith was convinced there was an “Indian Boy” standing outside her window when she woke up this morning. I don’t even know where she picked up the term “Indian Boy,” but she was convinced he was going to get her.

Also, Clark told us the cracks in the floor at Sam’s Club were “most important.”

Today, we got the car washed, which was necessary but highly emotionally traumatic for Meredith. Midway through the car wash, she started yelling out things that would make her happy: “Chicken nuggets! ‘I Am a Child of God!’ Target! Sleeping Doody! Fish balls! [sushi]”

ALSO. I had a dream that I was staying at an all-inclusive mountain resort where they were filming a segment on mountain climbing. I was supposed to participate in the mountain climbing, but I was scared so Alton Brown, who was hosting the show (naturally), strapped me onto his front side in a Baby Bjorn-like contraption and we climbed up the mountain together. The whole time, I was thinking that my friend Jen (who loves Alton) must be incredibly jealous. It was highly disturbing on my many levels.

All right, I think that’s it. Check in tomorrow and see if I’m feeling slightly more thankful then…

>Resurrecting the Inner Blogging Voice

9 May

>So yeah, I realize it’s been a looooooooong time since I’ve updated the blog! I don’t have too many excuses, although the computer I uploaded the Easter pictures to now has a dead monitor, so I can’t get to anything on that computer right now. My inner blogging voice seems to have died, but I’m hoping maybe a jaunt in the blog world will help bring it back to life.

  • The other day, Sam wasn’t getting ready for church, so I told Clark to go jump on him. A few minutes later, he came back out and said, “He’s not getting up. I’ll finish my breakfast and you go handle Dad.”
  • It seems like overnight, Satan has unleashed the entire insect population of hell on Louisiana. Last year, the mosquitoes weren’t unbearable until after Hurricane Gustav, but we are getting eaten alive day and night. Last week, I couldn’t move my neck and I was sure I had encephalitis from the evil critters. Turns out I slept on my neck funny. Don’t worry, I didn’t embarrass myself by going to the doctor to learn this.
  • Like a frog slowly boiled in water over time, I have become kind of a science fiction geek. It all started with Lost, which really isn’t really full-blown sci-fi, but it certainly has sci-fi elements. Then, when left with the choice of watching Girls Gone Wild commercials, colon cleanser infomercials, hellfire and damnation infomercials, or Angel, I started watching Angel during early-morning nursing sessions. Then came Battlestar Galactica. Then Buffy. We went and saw Star Trek last night and I thoroughly enjoyed it. While the new Star Trek movie is more of a smart action movie, I think the other shows, as well as all of the Star Trek series, are, when all is said and done, character-driven shows that are allowed to explore elements of humanity that are hard to do in other stories because they’re not bound by the restrictions of reality.
  • Clark offers pretty much daily to trade Meredith for another kid–his friend Gabe at school, Beck, Naomi, Ivy. He’s also taken to asking for a brother and saying, “I never wanted a girl.”
  • We had 1/2 hour of church last week! However, after church was over, I got to go home and take care of the kids while Sam and every other able-bodied person got to go help remove a tree from someone’s house for the next several hours.
  • I have talked about this with other people who have transplanted here from, well, just about anywhere else and we all have had similar experiences–sometimes, people say things that aren’t out-and-out rude, but they definitely sting (although we’ve all had some experiences with out-and-out rudeness as well). We’ve learned not to let those little biting comments hurt our feelings, but for all of us, we’re scared that we’ll become like that the longer we live here. Well, I started a new birth control pill which seems to have removed that filter between my brain and my mouth, and while I find it extremely liberating to release Snarky Kate a little more often, I’m trying to figure out exactly what level of snark is acceptable…

I think that’s it. I’ll continue trying to resurrect the IBV!

>One of THOSE Moms

7 Mar

>Yes, it’s officially happened. You know how before you have kids, you see things people are doing with their kids and you tsk-tsked and thought, “I will never do that.”

Yeah, I ate my words yesterday.

I’ve determined that the DMV is the great equalizer; everyone has to go, so you always seem to have a very interesting mix of people there. I would dare say that being in Louisiana makes that mix even more interesting.

Recently, we had a massive pollen dump over our lovely area–like literally, our cars are yellow. My kids, especially Meredith, have not tolerated it well and there is a never-ending flow of nasal secretions at our house. So one would think, “SURELY Kate would have enough foresight to carry a box of tissues with her at all times.” Those of you who think that greatly misunderstand my ability to plan ahead for emergency trips to the DMV.

Anyway, yesterday morning was a gorgeous (albeit pollen-y) day. Sam was going to go to his morning meeting and then head to the DMV to register our Nissan in Louisiana, I was going to take a leisurely trip to Target after I dropped off Clark from school. As I was pulling into the Target parking lot, Sam called and told me he couln’t register the car until he had a Louisiana driver’s license and he couldn’t do that without his birth certificate. So his first round of waiting was all for naught and he was heading home for his certificate. I found new Sunday shoes for Meredith and the cutest little white sundress in the world (for her…not me…) for $11.99 and am heading home when Sam called again, telling me that because I’m the title holder on the Nissan, I have to be there, too. However, I also needed my birth certificate so I could get a Louisiana license so I could register the Nissan. This presented something of a problem because we determined last Friday, when Clark had to go get his 4-year immunizations, we couldn’t find the immunization records or birth certificates of myself and the children. We knew they were together, we just didn’t know where.

So Sam and I spent a LOVELY 45 minutes together ripping apart the office, trying to figure out where the birth certificates could be. It was a little tense and most likely my fault. Then he remembered that he had a box of stuff on his computer and it might be in there. DING DING DING! There they were. Out the door and back to the DMV, only to arrive JUST in time to leave again and pick up Clark from preschool. Sam took Meredith and I waited. While I waited, I listened to the following conversation:

Man 1: I hate the DMV.

Man 2: Yeah, me, too. I just got out of prison, so I have to renew all this stuff before it expires.

Man 1: Oh, yeah? I got out in 2005.

Man 2: Yeah, I just got out last month. What were you in for?

Man 1: Assault and battery. You?

Man 2: Attempted murder.

They then shared some very nice prison stories. I hope I never go there.

Sam returned with Clark and Meredith. Clark was not pleased and asked every 5 seconds if we could go home. Literally. “Can we go home? Can we go home? Can we go home?” Meredith, who was wearing one too-small black patent leather Sunday shoe (which I had brought as a size comparison on our shoe-shopping trip) and one white sandal that was a little too big, wanted to go through the door where they actually help you at the DMV. She was not pleased that this was not an option. We decided in order to placate the children, we would buy a bottle of Sprite from the pop machine and have them share it. Things I’d never do? 1) Let my kids wear 2 different shoes. 2) Let my kids drink soda. 3) Let my kids share drinks.

Meredith’s nose was now leaking an unbelievable amount of snot. I realized I had no tissues and that this was becoming a rather disgusting situation with the pop-sharing, so what did I do? I wiped her nose on her dress. I can’t even believe I just wrote that. Other things I would never do? 4) Let my kids have runny noses. 5) Let snot be wiped onto clothing.

Our number was finally called, I got my new license. The picture is just lovely; my eyes are half-closed, which gives my picture a nice Earl Hickey effect. Turns out we didn’t actually have the title, my dad, who originally bought the car, is currently in Alabama visiting my sister but not visiting me (and I doubt he has it or knows where it is, anyway), and so we still were not able to register the frakking car. We have to request a copy of the title from the State of Utah, and all we have to do is fill out a little form, but the little form is quite confusing and, naturally, the phone menu at the Utah DMV is completely automated with NO option of asking an actual human being a question. So we sent off the duplicate title request with a check for $6 and are hoping they can figure it out. Because there also wasn’t a place for your phone number where they could call you if, say, you filled out the form wrong.

As I was telling this tale to a member of our Bishopbric last night (who is also not from here), I was laughing that everyone else in the DMV must’ve been horrified by my mothering skills and he said, “Oh, no, I’m betting that you just fit right in!” Which is probably right…

>What, Oh WHAT Should I DO??

21 Jan

>I’ve been in kind of a funk lately, which has seeped over into my blogging life. I have nothing to blog about. I just feel kind of…blah-g. However, I have a serious problem here and I honestly don’t know how to pursue it.

Sam gets a LOT of free laundry detergent from work. Like a lot. Like I’ve given away laundry detergent to a LOT of people, and we still have enough to last us through the middle of 2012. We generally get what isn’t selling well at the stores, as laundry detergent apparently has an expiration date and we get what’s about to go “bad.” Of course, that rule isn’t hard and fast–occasionally we’ll get something that’s doing well.

I’m currently working through what expires first, which, right now, is Tide Pure Essentials White Lilac. I have 3 more bottles of it to go. Then comes several cases of original Gain. However…last week, Sam brought home a big box of the holy grail of laundry detergent: Original Tide with Bleach. Heaven. Oh, how I love Original Tide with Bleach. It’s powdered detergent, so it’s not like I can use a bottle here and ad bottle there; once I open it, the OCD in me needs to use it all at once. Also, the OCD in me does not like that this box is not like the others. However, I also feel that I should hold out for as long as possible.

So what do I do? After I finish up my bottle of White Lilac Tide, do I move onto the precious box of Tide with Bleach? Or do I use the other 3 bottles of White Lilac Tide, considering they expire before the Tide with Bleach? Do I save the Tide with Bleach for a truly rainy day and keep using the stuff that will expire before it does? Do you SEE? Do you UNDERSTAND? These are the things I agonize over. Who knew life could be so full of difficult choices…

>Random December

1 Dec

>So I’ve had a lot of things rattling around in my brain lately, which usually means it’s time for another random post! Here’s what’s been keeping me up at night…

–I’ve officially broken up with Grey’s Anatomy. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and really, when the episodes sit on my DVR for weeks on end without me watching them and then feeling GUILTY about not watching a GUILTY PLEASURE, well, that should’ve been the sure sign of the beast. Denny back from the dead was just too much for my cynical brain.

–On one of the local Kentucky Fried Chickens, the marquee reads, “Potpies” and on the next line “Livers.” I honestly didn’t know people went to a fast food restaurant for livers. I have no idea how they’re served. You may want further details, I don’t really want to know a whole lot more, so I’m afraid I’m a dead end.

–This is going to sound a little crazy…but sometimes I wonder if all my friends and family who don’t live here actually believe that I live in Louisiana. Like maybe it’s some kind of elaborate ruse–maybe I have an address in Louisiana that’s forwarded to my other address in, say, Toledo. And that’s why I haven’t changed my cell phone number. Or our Utah license plates. Maybe I’m actually the one who’s in denial about living here…

–We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with our wonderful Louisiana (Toledo?) friends. I got drunk on turkey for the first time ever. Oh, and as we were sitting at dinner, two people had left the table and Clark, very concerned, looked around and then said, “Hey! We’re missing two customers!”

–Devil dog is back. I had a slight out-of-body experience the other night when I stood on the porch, shook my fist (I’m not kidding), and yelled, “SHUT UP!” in my shrillest voice. Don’t think it didn’t cross my mind to lace the turkey carcass with some rat poison and leave it in my garbage can because that damn dog has dug through my garbage for a whole lot less. My only hesitation was the realization that the Devil Dog’s owner (Satan?) might show up on my porch with a shotgun.

–Along those lines, I’m about 90% convinced that if I don’t drive to the liking of the dude in the truck next to me, he’s likely to whip out his hunting rifle. I’m slightly terrified of the redneck types here.

–Speaking of the redneck types, Sam, in an attempt to go home teaching a few weeks ago, found himself being interrogated by a group of the Twin Bridges Trailer Park’s finest. Think along the lines of My Name is Earl. Turns out one of the questioners was one of his home teachees. Nice. He said he’s never going back at night again and possibly not during the day, either.

–EDITED TO ADD: Sam just hit and killed a skunk. He couldn’t have run over a squirrel or an armadillo or a devil dog, no–it has to be the stinkiest animal on earth which, in exchange for its sudden death, sprayed our car with skunk stink.

–EDITED *AGAIN* TO ADD: I discovered that the TV channel that plays Chistmas music nonstop (“Sounds of the Season: Holiday Music” to be exact) is exactly one channel away from the Playboy channel and within spitting distance of the remaining dirty channels (like if I’m on the menu that shows me what’s on each channel, I can see ALL the forthcoming quality programming). While we don’t have these channels, I did, for the sake of my blog, skim through some of the titles. I have to say that porno titles are inifinitely more clever on TV shows and movies. Seriously, some of them sounded more like anatomy lessons than “Buffay the Vampire Layer.”

I think that’s it! Don’t worry, if there’s anything I’ve forgotten, I’ll be sure and update my list. I know you’re all anxiously waiting…

>Turtle Love

8 Oct

>So yeah, we haven’t dropped off the face of the planet, our lives have just been extraordinarily boring! Assuming everyone didn’t want to hear about poop habits of my children (suffice it to say a stomach bug’s been going around) and that everyone else thinks this season of America’s Next Top Model is particularly kitchy this “cycle,” I haven’t had a lot to say. I know. It shocks us all.

We did finally, after 9 months of living here, visit the local zoo.

Either it really is neat or I was holding the bar very low, but we had a really fun time. So did some turtles. Apparently it’s turtle mating season at the zoo, and being the mature person that I am, I caught it on video. No, you’re not mistaken, those are noises coming from the reproducing turtles…(you may want to avert your childrens’ eyes should you feel unprepared to discuss the birds and the bees (and the reptiles); you may want to avert your own eyes if your child(ren) were conceived immaculately or if you plan on immaculate conceptions in the future).

http://www.dropshots.com/dropshots.swf?p=1&u=http://media3.dropshots.com/photos/401801/20081003/223149.flv&l=http://www.dropshots.com/pixiekate#date/2008-10-03/22:31:49&d=1
Photo SharingVideo SharingPhoto PrintingPhoto Books
In other news…I’m officially in love with Chuck. It was a new show last season, and I watched it last season, but I think I underestimated how all-around awesome it is. We got caught up with Season 1 on DVD and then the season premiere last week and follow-up this week didn’t disappoint. Chuck Bartowski may be up there with Jim Halpert and Michael Bluth as fictional television characters I am in love with.

Also, Devil Dog across the street is now sporting a hot-pink muzzle and keeps a safe distance from all humans aside from its owners. Methinks the police have stopped over there one too many times.

I heard a scuttling in the kitchen yesterday while I was in the living room. I thought maybe it was a mouse. Nah, just a giant cockroach. The really sad thing is that it hardly phases me anymore.

Clark has a little girl in his preschool class named Maygen, but he pronounces it “Maggen.” He hates her. He says she’s bossy. Takes one to know one, I guess…

I think that’s it. I’ll be better about updating and Kat, I’ll be back to do your tag later! 🙂

>Blog Drought

29 Aug

>Okay, so I have a MILLION things to blog about and haven’t had time because it seems like a black cloud of doom has settled over us here. Not a black cloud like, “Hey, I have cancer and just got fired and everyone I know is sick and dying!” black cloud, but more of a “The world is full of idiots and any stupid thing that can possibly go wrong WILL go wrong” kind of black cloud. But then I remind myself of the Hank Hill adage: I don’t have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.

Here are some highlights:

  • We got new cell phones. They were so pretty. I started programming mine and the “8” button didn’t work.
  • AT&T did not think it was their problem. It was Sony Ericsson’s problem.

  • Sony Ericsson did not think it was their problem; I should go to my local AT&T Wireless store and figure it out with them.

  • I go to the store and return my phone. They don’t carry the model I want. They can’t complete the return until Sam, who works 12+ hours a day, can come with me because they need his debit card, which was used to make the purchase.
  • The phone was finally successfully returned, but the contract renewal was reversed. Although it shows up in all of the ACCOUNT computers, both at the store and with people I talk to online, it doesn’t show up on the computers of the people who handle ordering new phones when you renew your account. So I have to wait 72 hours from the time I returned my phone in order to order yet a new phone. Idiot problem, idiot problem!

  • After returning the phone to the AT&T store, we discover that the Nissan would not start. We jump start it with the van and I take it to Book Club over at the church. The air conditioner was not working. The heat index was 105. I’m sure I smelled lovely.
  • The next day, the dishwasher overflowed.
  • I spent several hours dealing with my idiot problem at AT&T. Nothing was accomplished.
  • I decided to make a nice dinner on the grill. The grill wouldn’t heat up past 200 degrees.
  • Yesterday was Clark’s first day of preschool. That is another post that I want to do justice, so it will have to come a little later. The BAD part is that because the Nissan was officially dead at this point, I had to take Sam to work at 6:45 with the kids in tow.
  • Ran home, got them ready for school/the parent’s meeting. Breakfast dishes from yesterday? Still sitting on the kitchen table. That is how much extra time I’ve had in the last 24 hours.
  • Took 2 dozen homemade rolls to the church for the missionary zone conference.
  • Took Meredith to the doctor because she’s still not walking and she crawls funny. Found out our pediatrician, whom we LOVE and is a bright spot in our Louisiana experience, no longer accepts our insurance.
  • Went grocery shopping. We’re preparing for Hurricane Gustav, so everyone was there buying water. Waited 1 1/2 hours for gas. Somehow got stuck in the Stupid Line where people can’t figure out the right way to stick their debit cards in the machine.
  • Kids fell asleep in the car on the way home. Threw them in bed, hadn’t even stuck the frozen peas in the freezer, and Sam called and told me he needed me to pick him up.

  • Pick up Sam. Jump start the Nissan so we can take it to Auto Zone and have it diagnosed. It dies right under an overpass on the highway.

  • Sam has to stay (and it was SO hot yesterday) while I ran home to get the number of the mechanic we were referred to. I get back, we talk to the mechanic, turns out his shop is quite far away. He suggests we buy a new battery (the problem was the alternator) and drive out there. We drop $80 on a new battery and then the rain started. Like windshield wipers were going as fast as they could and we still couldn’t see. It finally subsided and he installed then new battery and he followed me, lights off, to this place out in the boondocks. Don’t think the Deliverance song wasn’t playing through my head when we drove down this road:

Facing west:

    Facing east:


    Facing the sign:

The cats:

The picture of the cats doesn’t even begin to do it justice. I couldn’t even count how many cats were there and they were everywhere–on cars, under cars, in cars. The kids were thrilled.

Anyway, I just heard from the mechanic, and it’s not GREAT news, but it’s not horrible, either. The alternator needs to be replaced and an oil leak (which ruined the alternator) needs to be fixed and it’ll be around $240. Sam, if you’re reading this, let me know so I can give him the go-ahead to do it! Let’s hope my dark cloud of doom is passing!

>Thursday Randomness

10 Jul

>*I am the Enrichment Leader in our ward. Yeah, yeah, go ahead and laugh. Anyway, we’re having a giant activity next Tuesday and I basically have no Enrichment committee and the Enrichment counselor is going out of town, so I’m feeling a little frazzled. Last night, I had a dream that it was Monday night and I suddenly remembered that I’d signed up to bring 15 cheesecakes and I didn’t have enough time to make 15 cheesecakes, let alone time for 15 cheesecakes to set up. I literally woke up in a cold sweat. Is this really my life?

*We came home today from buying food for said Enrichment activity this afternoon and, like always, I heard something rustling around in the bushes. It was a dog, a small little dog, who took a liking to me. I’m starting to think that these bushes are a portal to otherworldliness, kind of like the wardrobe and Narnia. I was petting the dog when it suddenly started to downpour. Clark was screaming bloody murder, Meredith was laughing, and I was completely soaked. The dog followed me about halfway to our door and then went back and hid under my van.

*Due to me being soaked, I spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around in pajama pants and a t-shirt with no bra because the bra I was wearing got soaked and I literally have no other clean bras because I’ve spent the week upgrading the cooking blog and preparing for this crazy Enrichment activity.

*I realized I couldn’t make the dinner I was planning on making tonight because I used the last of my green onions last night. So I improvised, using about-to-go bad things in my fridge to make spaghetti sauce. Sam came home from work to find me lovingly cooking dinner for him. Okay, in all reality, I do love him, but this meal was not made lovingly, and instead of wearing my tea-length dress and half-apron and heels, I was wearing the aforementioned pajama pants, t-shirt, and no bra, with my soaking-wet hair pulled back into a ponytail. (Let it be known that I’ve never actually worn a tea-length dress and half-apron with heels all at the same time; that was a sarcastic comment, lest someone find this and mock me on http://www.seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com/.) I was super cute; I don’t know how he kept his hands off me.

*Immediately after he came home, Sam noticed our astronomical electric bill for the month. As he was raging about the ridiculousness of it all, I shouted, “There’s an armadillo in the backyard!” Non sequitur, you ask? No, really, there was an armadillo in the backyard! Snuffling around, probably eating up all the nasty bugs. Sam grabbed the camera, but you have to have a key to get out the backdoor, so he had to run and grab his keys and I watched the armadillo walk over to the deck. By the time he got back, the armadillo was gone. He searched the backyard, the garage, everywhere–no armadillo. So I’m thinking maybe the deck is also a portal to Narnia, only it’s the primary exit/entrance point of cockroaches and banana spiders.

*Just now, I asked Clark if he loved me. He paused for a minute and then said, “I don’t hate you.” Thanks, kid.

>Not Much to Say…

18 Jun

>Sam got on my case earlier today for not updating the blog. Yeah, I know, I suck. Quite honestly, our lives are boring and yet so busy. Plus, the most interesting thing that’s happened to me in a long, long time is something I’d love to blog about, but I know it would come back to bite me in the bum someday. So if you want to know what happened and I haven’t told you already, email me. Or better yet, call me–it’s probably been too long since we’ve talked, anyway! Adriann, you don’t have to call because you were there. You know what I’m talking about…

We’re really starting to seriously look for a house. The lady who owns it wants to sell it, so again, for the 3rd time in a year, we have to worry about not having a place to live. It’s stressing me out. I’ve noticed I tend to stop blogging when I’m stressed. Everything about buying a house is stressful; I don’t even want to think about it. Factor in Father’s Day, two birthdays, a day trip to Lafayette, a busted water heater (which led to two days without a dishwasher, washing machine, or a shower), the landlady calling at a moment’s notice asking me if she can parade people through my home, and yeah, I guess I’ve got a lot on my mind…

If you’ve been living under a rock and have never heard of The Pioneer Woman, I made her apple dumplings on Sunday for Father’s Day, which was the second dessert I made in 3 days (and I’m making a third tomorrow for Sam’s birthday). Oh, holy heck, they were soooooooo good. What did Sam have to say about them? “Dumplightful. Dumplicious.” Yeah, that makes them not sound so good. But considering my husband very nearly spits out any dessert that’s not made of chocolate and the fact that he LOVED these speaks volumes. Don’t be scared of the Mountain Dew. It was awesome.

I totally forgot about this Inner Blogging Voice moment until now! So when I was in elementary school, a friend of mine from church and I had a sleepover one night. She had an older sister who was in middle school and she was pretty much the epitome of coolness. Well, we decided to make a mixed tape for another friend of cool songs. I don’t remember what they were, but they were cool. And then, for the cover, we made a collage on the copy machine of her middle school sister’s cool stuff. One of those things was what? Her sister’s bus pass. Yeah, looking back, NOTHING about that was cool–a mixed tape with a picture of her sister’s middle schoool bus pass on it.